By David Chmiel
I was in eighth grade, going to sleep-away basketball camp. Legend had it that there was a cheerleading camp across the pond.
That gave my dad an idea. Thankfully, my mom gave me the head’s-up.
“Dad wants to go play golf,” she said with a smile. “He wants to be sure you guys have time to, ummm, talk before you go to camp.”
I was the oldest, so this was going to be hard on both of us, although it must have been harder on Dad, who is not comfortable will discussions of any bodily functions.
We were both embarrassed and, unfortunately, I was not yet fully equipped to make light of the situation in order to beat the stress and awkward moments leading up to the excruciating talk. Still, we managed to get through it without any incident. One week later, he asked me whether I “got in a night swim across the pond (alas, the camp was likely a mythical recruiting hook used to lure impressionable young ‘ballers to the Poconos). Aside from that, we’ve never spoken of that particular round of golf.
That moment in time did, however, motivate me to be proactive with our sons, Zach and Luke, when it came to talking about sex. At least initially, I would toss out a comment, hope they’d look up from their phones, and press on even in they didn’t. I eventually realized two things:
- Road trips rock. Everybody’s got their eyes on the road ahead, making it easy to avoid painful eye contact when asking — and answering — questions.
- Humor is even better. Referencing silly movies or songs to open lines of communication never fail.
Like anyone trying to walk the line between practical information and irreverent “we’re just talkin’ here” guy stuff, focused on being safe. Like most, I over-intellectualized it, before realizing that humor often works best. If you find yourself at that fork in the road to sexual awakening for your kids, this smart and funny icebreaker, courtesy of Billy Boy, which claims to be Germany’s top condom maker. Enjoy the ride!
