20 Dad Jokes That Might Make Kids Laugh

The laughter of a baby is pure joy. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, prompted by a silly sound, a surprising burp. That noise is crack to parents. So we goose it along with a quick tickle, a funny face — anything to trigger their laughter, and yours.

As the kids get older and laughs are harder to come by, Dads get frantic, pulling in props like the banana “phone” or some pratfall to fill the room with that happy noise. But it’s never enough, and we find ourselves becoming powerless over our addiction. We resort to…. Dad Jokes.

Puns, Word gags, knock-knocks. The format doesn’t matter, it’s the silly thought that counts. Here are 25 Dad Jokes — some old chestnuts, some smart, some atrocious — that could earn you chuckles or belly laughs; most likely they will result in full-blown eye rolls, a quick exit from the room or a loud “OMG, Dad, please make this stop.”

1. “I am hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad. Nice to meet you!”
2. “What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?” “Swimming trunks!”
3. “Why did the football coach go to the bank?” “To get his quarterback!”
4. “Why is six afraid of seven?” “Because seven eight nine!”
5. “Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” “Interrupting cow.” “Interrupting cow, w…” “MOO!”
6. “What time is when you need to go to the dentist?” “Tooth-hurty.”
7. A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I am happy to serve you, but don’t start anything.”
8. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
9. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. “Give me a beer,” he says to the bartender, “and give me one for the road.”
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
11. I went to the store to buy some camouflage pants. But when I got there, I couldn’t find them.
12. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One of them stops, looks at his friend and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?”
13. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and yells, “Dam!”
14. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer… and a mop.”
15. A horse walks into the bar. The bartender says, “What’s with the long face?”
16. A man walks into a bar. He says, “Ouch, that hurt.”
17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, where they name him Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain, where they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a photo. She tells her husband that she wishes her other son would send a photo, too. “Why,” her husband says, “If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
18. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
19. “Would you like me to put the milk in a bag,” the cashier asked. “No thanks,” I said. “Just leave it in the carton!
20. 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
21. What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
22. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
23. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
24. A furniture store keeps calling me, but all I wanted was one night stand.
25. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
26. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

Editor’s Note: Don’t worry, we will post “Daddy Issues Daily Dad Jokes” frequently to keep your material fresh. Please send us all of your so we can inflict misery — I mean, laughter — on our kids every day.