Are You A Better Dad Than Donald Trump?

Donald Trump is the world’s most visible Dad. We, on the other hand, parent in anonymity. Take the quiz to see whether you have ‘Daddy in Chief’ potential.

If Dads can snatch just one mantra to encompass the essence of raising children, I suggest a tweaking of the Hippocratic oath: “Above all, don’t mess ’em up.”

I am a fallible, fixable dad. I’ve spent every day of their lives filling Zach and Luke with piles of Dad lessons, conscious (most of the time, anyway) of not being too overbearing. They are fine young men, out of sight more often than they are home. We hope they get it right 94.6 percent of the time and spend the remaining 5.4 percent engaged in healthy silliness.

I try to split my “guidance” into two constantly evolving categories:

• The “to-give” list: Unconditional love, easy laughter, respect, unlimited hugs and kisses, loyalty, gratitude, commitment to physical, emotional and intellectual pursuits in equal measure, frequent challenges, tough love, freedom, trust, boundless patience, endless advice.
• The “to-teach” list for a righteous life: Love your family and friends; live with honor, dignity, perspective, self-awareness, curated ambition, self-respect, faith and an impeccable bullshit detector — and don’t become a meme!

My mistakes are legion, and I hope that they won’t have any lasting impact that will come back to bite anyone in the butt. That is the beauty of parenting in anonymity. But what about famous Dads? In our social-media society, men who parent in the public-facing world earn a special level of street cred, especially when they do it right. But what happens when it goes bad? If you are a media star who fell into becoming the leader of the free world, your adult kids are ripe to display their patriarchal scars and endure global scrutiny — some unfair, most well-earned.

At Daddyissuesdaily.com, we are all about avoiding the worst-case scenario. That is why we are proud to launch DADA (Dads Against Dubious Actions), a completely unscientific, non-partisan public-service outreach program dedicated to the noble pursuit of turning our little monsters (it’s not mean if it’s said with love… or if it’s true) into happy, healthy, productive adults. In the wake of new allegations about parents of means gaming the system and playing by a different set of rules, it’s time to see if the world of parenting is upside-down for everyone. It is time to reset the bar for parenting success, so why not start at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Shouldn’t be too hard for regular folks to get a win on something.

Let’s get started! Take our “Are You A Better Dad Than Donald Trump?” quiz. Analyze these 10 scenarios, make your most informed guess and pray we don’t make fun of you. Here’s how we will score it:

• Perfect score: Great job. Don’t screw up, or we will find you.
• Any other score: Really, pal? Get it together!

As always, please send us your glorious failures and moments of sublime inspiration so that all the Daddy Issues readers can learn, comment and commiserate.